Meeting in the Middle

Pretend You’re A Venn Diagram

Rebecca Moses

Despite everyone’s best intentions, couples planning their wedding often find themselves in conflict with their parents, others who wish to be involved in the planning process, and even each other.  Picture this: It's the 11th month of wedding planning. You've thought about the guest list, budget, venue, where so and so will sit and what Mr. Vegan will eat (celery, you've decided, just celery) more than you'd like to admit, and then, this happens.

You get a call from your soon-to-be brother-in-law asking for a last minute change to accommodate his new girlfriend. Or maybe, your own mother has a suggestion she's been meaning to tell you that you must do.

Are you ready to scream yet?

Despite everyone's best intentions, couples planning their wedding often find themselves in conflict with their parents, others who wish to be involved in the planning process (your thoughtful Aunt Nancy perhaps?), and even each other.

Others may mean well, but this is your day, and every bride and groom should have the wedding that is right for them.

When it comes to making difficult wedding-related decisions, your job is to stand behind your fiancé and form a united front--unless, of course, you disagree with each other, in which case you should discuss the situation privately and come to an agreement.
 
How to keep the peace when it comes to conflicts in the family? Read on for some of our suggestions:

• It's important to set ground rules early on, so you don't get steamrolled into agreeing with wedding elements that don't suit you.
• It is equally important, however, to maintain an atmosphere of give and take when it comes to family diplomacy. (Just keep saying to yourself, "I'm Switzerland. I'm Switzerland.") Compromise is often the best approach when there's an issue causing major conflict.
• Whenever you assemble an extended family, tensions often ensue. Your job is to make sure, as much as possible, that people don't lose sight of the fact that this is a joyous occasion uniting two people in love.
• If family members are using your wedding as an opportunity to egg on family tensions, tactfully put a stop to it. The situation may require you to be explicit; for example, saying, "Mom, I understand you don't want Dad's new wife in the wedding photos, but she is part of our family now and it wouldn't be right to exclude her. I'll make sure you aren't seated anywhere near her and Dad during the reception. And remember to save your first dance for me, OK?"

Remember, you're making a lifetime commitment, for better or worse. You will both need a lot of coddling and support as the days and weeks tick off before the wedding, so be sure you're there for each other.

                                                                                                                        Blog from Colin Cowie

Image from Tammy Vogt Photography
Lorin and Bryan Married 4.22.12
Planning & Candy Buffet by Celebrations by Amy Bacon

At Celebrations By Amy Bacon  we assists our couples with family and bridal party conflicts.  It's good to know you're not alone during the planning process and we're happy to not only assist and/or plan your wedding but handle issues as they arise.

Direct # 602.762.1174

e-mail amy@celebrationsbyamybacon.com

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Image from Tammy Vogt Photography