How to avoid getting emotional during your speech/toast

Your best friend is getting married and throughout the midst of all the preparation and To-Do lists you’ve been recruited to help with, you realize one scary thought: YOU’RE EXPECTED TO GIVE A SPEECH AT THE RECEPTION. Cancel that order for the oxygen tank and bring your breathing back down to a normal level; you CAN get through this. You don’t have to be a professional public speaker to give a great speech that your buddy will love. 

Some people can pull off “winging it” during their toasts but let’s face it, that group doesn’t include the majority of us in their ranks. Preparation is a requirement that the rest of us can take advantage of to come off as effortlessly brilliant speech-givers that love our best friends. Preparing for your speech even if it’s only for a day can help calm your nerves to make it through those 3-5 minutes of the wedding when all eyes are on you.

1) Decide on the feeling you hope to get across. Who says your toast has to be formal and proper? If you and your toastee constantly joke with one another, feel free to make your special time one that draws laughs from the crowd, just avoid making fun of the newlyweds if you hope to stay friends with them in the future.  Don’t be scared of going to the opposite side of the spectrum either! Weddings are events when tears of joy are bound to show up at so if you want to pour your heart out, go for it. You’re best friends for a reason so being emotional on such a special day is expected and you have nothing to be scared of if your stories make people in the crowd dab at their eyes with their napkins.

2) Write out what you’d like to say. By getting your jumbled thoughts onto paper, you can sort through stories you want to include, memories you probably shouldn’t, and special dedications you’ve been storing up since you deemed the bride or groom your best friend. If you write out what you want to say, you can read it over multiple times and start to remember what you wanted to say. No one is going to think any less of you if you’re reading your speech off of a paper or your iPad. If anything it would show how much you care by being so prepared so grab a pen and get reminiscing. 

3) Practice your speech out loud to someone you trust. Don’t make the mistake many bridal party members have made in the past by having the first time you say your speech is when the microphone is in your hand. You may find yourself taking twice as long to get your words out because you’re crying between each line (no really, it happens)! If a wedding planner (such as Celebrations by Amy Bacon) is coordinating the wedding, it couldn’t hurt to ask them to give you some suggestions on your speech. After all, wedding planners have heard dozens of successful (and not so successful) toasts and have been getting to know the newlyweds for months so they are the perfect people to give feedback on your speech. Get used to how your speech sounds, get those emotions out, and get ready for your special moment.

In the end, who’s going to know if you do a Google search for “best friend wedding speech” and just throw in personal touches? They worked in the past so they’re nearly guaranteed to work again. Just remember how much you love your best friend and how you love to see them happy, and your toast will be perfect. Cheers!

                                                       Blog written by Patrice Klaum

Evee and Anthony Married 5.14.11

Thank you to all the professionals listed below that worked to make the day so special ... 

Photography - Cameron & Kelly Studios www.cameronkellystudio.com
Wedding Coordinating - Amy Bacon www.celebrationsbyamybacon.com
Video - Serendipity - www.serendipitycinema.com
Catering - LeFox www.lefoxcatering.com
Bartender - Arizona Bartenders  http://www.arizonabartenders.com/
Live Music - Sarah Vanell http://www.sarahsmuse.com/events/
DJ - SKM  http://www.skmentertainment.com/
Linens - PROEM http://www.proem.org/
Hair - Lily Delgado
Makeup - Jessica Adarme

5 Tips for Buying a Home After You Get Married

Today's guest post comes to us from Matthew Coates with West USA Realty Revelation.

So you're getting married? Congratulations! What an exciting time in your life that will be. Love is in the air and you have made the decision to spend the rest of your life with that special someone. They say people spend more time planning the wedding than the marriage itself. Of course these are both  important. In today's post I want to address the after-wedding/marriage side and another life decision you may be contemplating. Hopefully my "5 Tips for Buying a Home After You Get Married" will help you think through the process a little better.

Buying a home can be just as, if not more, stressful than planning your wedding. Taking on these 2 gigantic events within a 12-24 months of each other is certainly no small feat and requires a specific game plan. In working with many first-time homebuyers, especially newlyweds, I have found 5 tips that help them minimize the aggravation of trying to buy a home shortly after their wedding date.

 

1. Don't feel obligated to use your parents' Realtor

Parents place alot of pressure on us, don't they? After all, they brought us into this world and have given us a good degree of life wisdom. However, their long-time friend of 30 years who is a real estate agent might not be the best choice for you. 

Why?

Just because your parents knows them doesn't make them qualified or make them open to treating you as a separate entity. You have to have a good "vibe" with your agent, whether it's your mom's best friend or someone you met through visiting an open house.

 

 

2. Prioritize your must-have features in a home

Many would-be buyers enter the market place with unrealistic expectations of what is available. It isn't likely that your first home purchase will have all the nicest things money can buy. That's why they call them "starter homes" or "entry-level homes". Just like you probably won't be at an entry-level job your entire life (let's hope). If you want a fireplace but the home doesn't have one, yet meets all your other needs, you may want to move forward.

Requiring granite countertops, cultured marble, travertine flooring, and 2-tone paint may not be doable on your budget. It may be better to make those preferences and not requirements, thus helping you avoid major disappointment.  A feature that may be required would be something like a 3-bedroom home. That is the most popular choice for first-time buyers, the concept being one bedroom for you and your sweetie, one to be used as a den/office (computer always seems to get its own room these days), and one for a future child.

3.Don't spend all your money on getting into the home

Make sure you budget exactly what it's going to take to acquire the home, and don't spend all your cash reserves. It's that simple!

Homebuyers often overlook potential repairs that the home will need (especially as revealed during their home inspection). And then remember you have got closing costs, an appraisal, and a home inspection.

What if something comes up after you buy the home? Oh, and remember the home needs appliances. Things like this are what cause people to rack up credit card debt shortly after the purchase is made.

4. Think about how long you're going to live there

The average amount of time people live in a home is about 5 - 7 years. But this of course varies. What are your plans for the future? If you are going to have babies right away, maybe the 2-bedroom home isn't the smartest  idea.

Are you working full-time and in school, hoping to move out-of-state for your first job? You might ditch the idea of a house and opt for a condo or townhome, which typically cost less and without the maintenance (but don't forget those higher HOA fees!).

Although some people end up renting out their home if they move, most don't prefer this. They would just as soon sever their attachment to the home and sell it outright (unless the home has lost tremendous value of course)

5. Listen to your Realtor

Yes, you're the boss, but your agent has wisdom because they are in the trenches every day and can give you incredible advice, covering everything to how much to offer, to a list of viable home inspectors to use. They eat, sleep, and live the market you're in, even if your uncle was a real estate investor 2 years ago, his knowledge, which helpful, is already outdated.

Your Realtor should be able to show you where the market is now, where it's heading, and that what research you have done on your own is still valuable, and that it's not necessarily the only answer.

Thank you for taking the time to read my tips for buying a home after you get married. As a newlywed you'll have many decisions to make together. Make sure you start off this one on the right foot! Contact me here or call 602.332.3321 if you have additional questions about buying a home.

Matthew Coates of West USA Realty Revelation has been helping first-time homebuyers in the Phoenix-metro area for over 5 years and served in excess of 100 happy clients.  Having bought and sold houses, both for personal and investor use, he is able to see guiding clients through many viewpoints. He currently lives in Chandler with his wife of 14 years and 2 sons.

Click here to view Matthew's Real Estate Website

Meeting in the Middle

Pretend You’re A Venn Diagram

Rebecca Moses

Despite everyone’s best intentions, couples planning their wedding often find themselves in conflict with their parents, others who wish to be involved in the planning process, and even each other.  Picture this: It's the 11th month of wedding planning. You've thought about the guest list, budget, venue, where so and so will sit and what Mr. Vegan will eat (celery, you've decided, just celery) more than you'd like to admit, and then, this happens.

You get a call from your soon-to-be brother-in-law asking for a last minute change to accommodate his new girlfriend. Or maybe, your own mother has a suggestion she's been meaning to tell you that you must do.

Are you ready to scream yet?

Despite everyone's best intentions, couples planning their wedding often find themselves in conflict with their parents, others who wish to be involved in the planning process (your thoughtful Aunt Nancy perhaps?), and even each other.

Others may mean well, but this is your day, and every bride and groom should have the wedding that is right for them.

When it comes to making difficult wedding-related decisions, your job is to stand behind your fiancé and form a united front--unless, of course, you disagree with each other, in which case you should discuss the situation privately and come to an agreement.
 
How to keep the peace when it comes to conflicts in the family? Read on for some of our suggestions:

• It's important to set ground rules early on, so you don't get steamrolled into agreeing with wedding elements that don't suit you.
• It is equally important, however, to maintain an atmosphere of give and take when it comes to family diplomacy. (Just keep saying to yourself, "I'm Switzerland. I'm Switzerland.") Compromise is often the best approach when there's an issue causing major conflict.
• Whenever you assemble an extended family, tensions often ensue. Your job is to make sure, as much as possible, that people don't lose sight of the fact that this is a joyous occasion uniting two people in love.
• If family members are using your wedding as an opportunity to egg on family tensions, tactfully put a stop to it. The situation may require you to be explicit; for example, saying, "Mom, I understand you don't want Dad's new wife in the wedding photos, but she is part of our family now and it wouldn't be right to exclude her. I'll make sure you aren't seated anywhere near her and Dad during the reception. And remember to save your first dance for me, OK?"

Remember, you're making a lifetime commitment, for better or worse. You will both need a lot of coddling and support as the days and weeks tick off before the wedding, so be sure you're there for each other.

                                                                                                                        Blog from Colin Cowie

Image from Tammy Vogt Photography
Lorin and Bryan Married 4.22.12
Planning & Candy Buffet by Celebrations by Amy Bacon

At Celebrations By Amy Bacon  we assists our couples with family and bridal party conflicts.  It's good to know you're not alone during the planning process and we're happy to not only assist and/or plan your wedding but handle issues as they arise.

Direct # 602.762.1174

e-mail amy@celebrationsbyamybacon.com

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Image from Tammy Vogt Photography